


Play On

by iwatobio



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Bumped up to T for chapter 9, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Songfic, horde prime mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwatobio/pseuds/iwatobio
Summary: “If music be the food of love, play on.” -Twelfth Night, William ShakespeareA study of Catra and Adora’s relationship through song. (I know songfic is out of fashion these days, but I couldn’t help myself).
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	1. Spanish Sahara

**Author's Note:**

> Forget the horror here  
> Forget the horror here  
> Leave it all down here  
> It's future rust and it's future dust
> 
> -Spanish Sahara by Foals
> 
> Takes place pre-canon. Catra and Adora are maybe age 12-14.

Adora awoke to the sound of whimpering. She sat up and saw Catra curled up at the foot of the bed, shaking. Her breathing was fast and shallow.

Adora carefully moved closer to Catra. She was cautious, having learned the hard way that not doing so could get her a swipe to the face. But Adora knew that Catra wasn’t angry, but terrified of something from her dreams.

Adora put an arm around Catra. She tensed at the touch. “Hey,” Adora whispered. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She stroked her unruly hair. “It’s okay. Just breathe with me.” 

Adora breathed in deeply and exhaled, encouraging the other girl to do the same. After what felt like hours, Catra’s breathing became more regular, and she relaxed into Adora’s touch. 

“What was it this time?” Adora asked, afraid that Catra would just say “nothing,” and turn away as she had done so many times. But Adora hoped this time would be different. Maybe if she knew what had made Catra like this, she would be able to fix it better in the future. 

“It was…Shadow Weaver,” Catra said, almost inaudibly. “She was hurting me with her magic. And she was making shadows, bigger and bigger until I couldn’t breathe and—” her breathing became shallow again. “I thought I was dying, I thought I’d never see you again, I—”

Adora hugged her tight. “Oh, Catra. I’m so sorry. Is that…usually what you dream about?” 

Catra nodded and buried her face into Adora’s chest. “I hate it. I can’t even forget about her when I’m asleep. It’s not fair. I don’t want her to do stuff like that to me anymore.”

“Well, someday she won’t. We won’t be kids forever, and maybe someday we’ll be high enough in rank to tell _her_ what to do,” Adora said. 

Catra lifted her head to look at Adora and smirked. “That’ll be the day,” she said with the beginnings of a smile. “We can give her double latrine duty if she uses magic.”

“Or report her to Lord Hordak for being ‘insubordinate,’” Adora said with exaggerated air quotes. 

The two girls laughed together until someone else in the barracks, probably Lonnie, shushed them loudly. 

“Whoops,” Adora whispered. Catra stifled a giggle. This wasn’t the first time they had been admonished for talking late at night. 

But suddenly a heavy silence spread between them. Adora knew they had to go back to sleep, but didn’t want to leave Catra to war with her subconscious alone. Before Catra could turn around, Adora grabbed her hand. 

“Why don’t you sleep up here with me?” she asked, patting the small space beside her. Catra looked hesitant. “Just for tonight?”

“Um. Okay,” she whispered. And then, even quieter: “Thanks.”

Catra crawled up the bed to settle beside Adora. It was cramped, but it felt good to be close to Catra. She wanted Catra to feel safe, that’s all, Adora told herself. She was doing Catra a favor. Any friend would do it.

Adora almost drifted off to sleep, but before she could, she heard a small “Adora?” from beside her.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think…” Catra paused and took a deep breath. “Do you think we’ll be friends forever?”

A warmth filled Adora. “Yeah,” she said, I think so.”

“Good. And thanks,” she said softly, “for earlier.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Adora said. “Good night, Catra,” she murmured. 

“Good night.” 

The two girls slept peacefully together through the night.


	2. Stop Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right where I want you, back against the wall  
> Trust when I promise, never let you fall  
> Right where I want you, back against the wall  
> You can trust me, I'll never let you fall
> 
> -Stop Desire by Tegan and Sara
> 
> Pre-canon, around age 16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someday I will stop writing fic from Catra's POV, but it is not this day.
> 
> There's something weird going on where the notes from the last chapter are appearing at the bottom of this one and I don't know how to fix it, so sorry about that.

Catra was bored. This was not unusual for her, but she felt a particularly restless itch that afternoon. Training had ended for the day, but it wasn’t time for dinner yet. She paced back and forth in the barracks in front of the bunk she shared with Adora, the concrete floor cold against her bare feet.

“Would you stop that?” Adora said. She was sitting upright on the bed looking at papers that must have been strategic diagrams. “I’m trying to read here.”

Catra flopped down on the firm mattress. “UGH. You’re so boring.”

“I’m _not_ boring!” Adora said, looking up from the papers. “I just want to prepare for Strategies and Tactics, the Force Captain said we might have a quiz and—”

“Adoraaaaa,” Catra whined. She grabbed the papers, ignoring Adora’s shocked _“hey!”_

“Let’s go do something! Please?” She moved her face close to Adora’s, noticing, but just barely, the slight flush in her cheeks. _Must be left over from earlier,_ she thought.

Adora looked away. She cleared her throat and said, “like what? In case you haven’t noticed, there isn’t much to do here other than hit stuff. And we did that earlier. Like, a lot.”

“Hmm.” Catra hummed, pretending she didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do. “How ‘bout I…. _race you to the lookout spot!_

She jumped off the bed and bolted out the door, ignoring Adora’s “Hey, wait!” Catra recklessly barreled down the hallway, taking the shortcut she knew would take her to her destination far before Adora. It wasn’t exactly fair anyway, she acknowledged. Adora wasn’t built for scampering up to the high places of the Fright Zone the way Catra was. 

A right turn, a left turn, down a narrow hallway then outside and up a ladder to a second story, and there it was: her favorite spot to look out across the expanse of the Fright Zone. Catra kicked away a few stray nuts and bolts in her path on the rooftop as she made her way to the best spot. Catra, triumphant, sat down on the edge and smirked. She wondered how long it would take Adora to get there. Adora had fought hard in training that day, but she did have decent endurance. While she was lost in thought, Adora appeared, breathing heavily as she hoisted herself up the ladder and sat down next to Catra near the edge of the rooftop. 

“That was,” she gasped, “unfair, Catra.” She was a bit disheveled, her clothes were rumpled and a few strands of hair had escaped her ponytail. She looked good, though, somehow. 

Catra smirked. “You look stupid.” Adora punched her in the arm. 

“Hey!” Catra protested.

“That’s what you get for cheating,” Adora said, more amused than angry. She got up from her seat on the edge and dusted herself off.

“Yeah, well—watch out!” Catra shouted. 

Adora took a step and slipped on a scrap of metal that Catra had spotted earlier. She fell forwards, windmilling her arms and suddenly was half off the edge. “Catra, help!” she shouted.

Catra’s heart was thudding in her ears. “I got you!” It was all because of Catra that Adora was even up here. If Catra didn’t save her, it will be all her fault that she—no, she wasn’t even going to think the word.

Adora was heavy, but Catra was stronger than she looked. She grabbed Adora by the legs and pulled her away from the edge. After a few heart-stopping moments, Catra had fully gotten her to safety.

Somehow, she had ended up on top of Adora, staring straight into her eyes. They were close—too close. Adora’s face was fully flushed now, and her gray-blue eyes were wide. If Catra moved slightly, if her mouth was a little closer, she—but no, _absolutely not,_ she told herself, and sprang away from Adora. 

“Are you okay?” Adora asked. _Damn it,_ Catra thought. Adora could clearly see that Catra was flustered. She only hoped Adora was too dense to realize why. Time to deflect.

“Yeah, I’m—I’m fine! How are you? I mean, are you okay? You almost DIED,” she blurted out, not saying the words she meant: _I almost lost you._

Adora took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yeah. I’m okay. Let’s go back. I’ve had enough excitement for now.” Adora extended her hand to Catra.

 _So have I,_ Catra thought, and took Adora’s hand. “Okay, but try not to die on the way down. You can’t always count on me to save your butt.”

Catra expected a laugh from Adora, but the look in her eyes was one of hurt, not amusement. She jerked her hand away from Catra. “Well if it _bothers_ you so much to help me, I—

“No, wait, that’s not what I meant!” Adora turned her back on Catra and started lowering herself down the ladder. “Adora!”

Catra scrabbled down the side of the building and cut Adora off before she could storm away. “Adora. Wait. I’m—I’m sorry.” Adora’s eyes widened. She knew those words were hard for Catra to say, even to her. “I didn’t mean it. Honestly, I…was really scared back there. I can’t—I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She averted her eyes, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. “So, don’t go doing anything like that again.”

Adora punched her arm again. She was smirking. “Hey!” Catra yelped. “I said I was sorry.”

“Yeah. I got you to say you’re sorry AND that you care about me!” she gloated. “I’m never gonna let you live this down.”

Catra covered her face with her hands. “UGH, you’re _so_ annoying!”

“You love me, though,” Adora said, grinning.

 _More than you know,_ Catra thought. “Whatever. Let’s go get dinner. I think Lonnie said earlier that it’s the gray kind tonight.”

“Oh, nice! Bet you can’t beat me there!” Adora shouted, sprinting ahead.

“Hey, do you have a death wish or something?” Catra called out. She sighed. She couldn’t let Adora beat her, that would just be embarrassing. And the gray kind _was_ good. 

“Wait up!” Catra yelled, running after her. Though she knew she could outpace Adora, Catra never could outrun the feelings about her that nagged at her. As Catra ran down the hallways, she thought about the almost-something, the proximity between them when she pulled Adora off the edge. There was something there, she knew it, but she wasn’t ready to think about it, not really. She just hoped Adora would still be there for her when she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! I clearly have a lot of time on my hands! The next three days are going to be busy though, so I definitely won't be able to do multiple updates a day. I hope you stick around for when I do have time to write. Thanks for reading!


	3. Maps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait, they don’t love you like I love you  
> -Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
> 
> Takes place immediately following Season 2, Episode 2, “The Ties That Bind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, didn't expect to have another chapter in me today but here we are. This one's a little different, but I hope it still works. Thanks for reading!

_Adora didn’t leave the Horde, she left YOU!_

The sparkly princess’s words—Catra refused to acknowledge her name—rang in Catra’s ears hours after she returned to the Fright Zone. She had outsmarted them, beaten them; Adora’s pathetic new friends. She had humiliated them, duped them, showed them they were unworthy. So why did she feel so hollow? _Why does this still hurt?_ she asked herself.

After a herculean effort to get Scorpia to _just leave her alone,_ Catra was finally free to be by herself and think. She jumped and scrambled her way up the harsh metal buildings of the Fright Zone until she was high enough to feel like she could breathe. She had always felt safer high up, where no one could reach her. No one could yell at her up there, or call her worthless or ungrateful. And though Catra used to spend time with Adora on the roof, there were spots she couldn’t reach either, which was a blessing and a curse.

A memory, unbidden: playing the-floor-is-lava with Adora when they were little. Catra winning because she could climb up high and Adora couldn’t. Catra laughing triumphantly when Adora fell, then running to her when she started crying because she skinned her knee. Catra kissing it better. Adora’s smile and laugh. 

She hugged her knees to her chest, tail wrapping around her body. Adora didn’t need her anymore. Maybe she never had. She left and now she had other people in her life. But they didn’t know Adora like Catra did. They knew She-Ra, the great legendary princess. They only wanted Adora for what she could do for their stupid rebellion. But Catra knew Adora; brave, stupid, awkward, uptight and—well, there’s no point denying it—beautiful Adora. She knew her better than anyone ever could. Or at least that’s what she thought. 

She hadn’t seen the betrayal coming. Adora had been so excited about becoming a Force Captain, and then after a day she left the Horde—left Catra—behind completely. It was an impossibly devastating blow. Adora, _her Adora_ left her. _She was never really mine, was she?_ she thought. 

She should have realized that earlier. Adora wanted other friends when they were younger, and it scared Catra, to the point of lashing out at her. _Of course,_ she thought bitterly, _leave it to me to hurt the only one I care about._

There was no point in thinking about any of it. Adora had made her choice, and so had Catra. They’ve chosen their people, or in Catra’s case, had her people chosen for her.  


Catra was buffeted by a strong breeze. She shuddered. She realized she had no idea how long she had been there. She sighed, got up and brushed herself off. She took one last look out over the sickly green lights. 

_Pity party time is over, time to get back to work,_ she told herself. But inside she knew that nothing would ever really banish the wanting.


	4. Real Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is going crazy  
> And it feels like I just don't know who to trust sometimes  
> Thunder's coming over me, I need to get ahold of you now  
> We're getting good at lying  
> No one's saying what's keeping us all awake at night  
> Something's coming over me, I need to get ahold of you now
> 
> Standing here with you tonight  
> How did we turn on the light?  
> I've got the feeling that the writing's on the wall  
> And I'm so used to the lie, and you're so down to deny  
> I've got the feeling you're the right thing after all
> 
> I go every day without it  
> All I want is real, real love  
> And I've been feeling weak without it  
> Only want a real, real love  
> I'm not even scared about it  
> All I want is real, real love  
> Well, I don't know a thing about it  
> All I want is real, real love
> 
> Real Love by Carly Rae Jepsen
> 
> Takes place during Season 5, Episode 6: “Taking Control.” The timing might not be perfect here, so forgive me.

Adora sat alone against the wall of a cramped corridor of Mara’s ship; the ship that Entrapta had so affectionately dubbed “Darla.” She needed some time to think before rejoining her friends after witnessing Entrapta remove Catra’s chip.

_Stay._

That was the first time in what seemed like an eternity Adora had heard that word from Catra. Sure, when Adora had first defected, Catra asked her to come back, to abandon her new friends and her destiny as She-Ra. But after she realized Adora had made her choice for good, things changed.

And Adora hoped things were different now, too—for the better. When Catra sniped at her and argued, Adora was truly disappointed. She thought Catra’s sacrifice _meant something._ Glimmer said Catra “wanted to do one good thing in her life,” right? Adora didn’t realize the good deeds would stop there. 

But she was wrong to judge Catra so quickly this time. For the first time in years, Adora saw a look in Catra’s eyes that made her seem more like the scared child Adora once knew than second-in-command to the leader of an evil army. 

And so, she stayed, as Catra asked. She held Catra’s hand as Entrapta operated. A small voice inside Adora hoped that this one word, this one request, _stay_ would turn to more. 

Adora smoothed a stray hair out of her face. _More?_ What would that look like? _Loyalty pledged to the rebellion, at least,_ Adora thought, trying to ground herself in practicality. 

Could they be friends again? Adora hoped so. Catra had done that one great thing, and with it there was potential for change. Catra would have to work at it, but Adora really wanted her friend back. 

There was one troublesome thing, though; something Adora would have preferred not to think about, and that was touching Catra. She had barely touched her hand but it felt…strange. Adora frowned. It was both familiar and alien; both comforting and unsettling; warming and electrifying. It made her feel so many things. Too many.

Adora looked at her hand as if her feelings had left a mark. She wanted to feel them again. If she were honest with herself, Adora would admit that she desired more than the closeness and intimacy she had Catra had when they were friends in the Horde. She wanted love. She didn’t know what it would look like, or if it would ever be possible, but now that Catra was safe and seemed to desire atonement, maybe there was a chance.


	5. You Are The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear  
> It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier  
> All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas  
> The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe
> 
> I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact  
> So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass  
> I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky  
> So you can see your beauty every moment that you rise
> 
> -You Are The Moon by The Hush Sound
> 
> Takes place post-Season 5.

Catra was back on Prime’s ship in front of the caustic green pool he used to brainwash and torture her. She was surrounded by clones, all chanting _cast out the shadows, cast out the shadows…_ She wanted to run but her limbs didn’t heed her. She was frozen. A clone pushed her to the edge from behind. She tried to scream but no sound came out. Then, she heard Prime himself whisper: <i> “I will have a use for you yet, little sister…” and she fell.

“Catra! _Catra, wake up!_ Catra felt someone shaking her shoulder. _Adora_ , she remembered. They had been together again for a few months now, but waking up next to Adora still felt too good to be true.

But now it wasn’t as easy as usual to come back to herself. The voices, the green light, the feeling of the nightmare still clung to her consciousness.

“Adora?” Catra said blearily.

“Are you okay? You screamed…”

Catra grimaced. She didn’t want to make Adora worried. She had helped Catra with her nightmares a lifetime ago in the Horde, but Catra didn’t want to make Adora do it now. Catra was able to take care of herself now…most of the time. 

“I’m…I’m fine. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep.” Catra turned over away from Adora, but she caught her by the shoulder.

“I know you, Catra. It’s never _just_ a bad dream with you.” Catra turned back to look at Adora’s kind gray-blue eyes. The fear and anger inside her, the feelings that drove her away from Adora, fought with the warmth and safety she felt when she looked at Adora.

The latter emotions won. Catra turned towards Adora and nestled against her chest.

“What was it this time?” Adora asked quietly, stroking Catra’s hair gently. “Shadow Weaver?”

Catra started to tense at the mention of that name, but found herself relaxing at Adora’s touch.

“No. It was Prime.” Catra could barely get the words out. She found herself starting to shake a little. Adora tightened her embrace.

“I’m so sorry,” Adora whispered. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

Again, the part of Catra that wanted to hide and run away surged inside her. _No,_ she told herself, _Not this time._

She took a deep breath and pulled away from Adora so she was looking in her eyes. “Okay. You know how I was chipped, right?” Adora nodded, forehead creased with worry.

“Well, it wasn’t just that. There’s like, a process…ugh, this is hard…”

“You don’t have to—” Adora cut in, taking Catra’s hand and squeezing it.

“No. I—I want to,” Catra objected. She sighed, and continued explaining what had happened to her exactly when Prime had taken control. It was difficult—she hadn’t told anyone else what it had been like before—but she felt better once she had gotten through it; once she had described the fear and the pain she experienced, how she had lost all hope of ever escaping, of coming home, of seeing Adora again.

When she finished, she felt spent. She looked down at her hand in Adora’s. To Catra’s dismay, Adora took her hand away. When Catra met her eyes, they were downcast.

Catra scrambled to apologize, words that even with Adora still felt foreign to her lips sometimes. “I’m sorry, should I not have—”

“No,” Adora said quickly. “No, I’m glad you told me. I just…I feel terrible that you had to go through that; that I couldn’t protect you from Prime until it was too late.”

“Adora.” Catra put one hand on her face. “Look at me.” Adora reluctantly complied. " _You saved my life._ I can never thank you enough for that.”

“But I didn’t keep him from hurting you, and if I can’t keep you from getting hurt, what good am I?” Adora said, her voice wavering. Catra could see the beginnings of tears in Adora’s eyes.

“You don’t see who you really are, do you?” Catra said quietly. “You’re She-Ra, sure, there’s that. But you’re _Adora_. kind, brave, stubborn, loving Adora, and that’s just as amazing to me.” Adora’s eyes widened.

“Remember what you told me Mara said to you? ‘You’re worth more than what you can give to other people,’” Catra reminded her. She kissed Adora tenderly on the forehead. “And in case you forget, I’ll remind you every day for the rest of our lives.”

Tears in her eyes, Adora threw her arms around Catra and kissed her, squeezing her tight. Catra heard “I love you,” in the slightest whisper.

“I love you, too. Now let’s go to bed,” Catra said, gently wiping away Adora’s tears.

They curled up together, Adora nuzzling against Catra’s neck. She couldn’t resist a low purr of satisfaction. It felt so right. She vowed to herself to keep trying to let Adora in, even if it took years. And even more, she promised herself that she would never stop telling Adora that she mattered. Because she did, more than Catra could ever express.


	6. I Think I See the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I used to trust nobody, trusting even less their words,  
> Until I found somebody, there was no one I preferred,  
> My heart was made of stone, my eyes saw only misty grey,  
> Until you came into my life girl, I saw everyone that way…
> 
> …I used to walk alone, every step seemed the same.  
> This world was not my home, so there was nothing much to gain.  
> Look up and see the clouds, look down and see the cold floor.  
> Until you came into my life girl, I saw nothing, nothing more.
> 
> I Think I See the Light by Cat Stevens 
> 
> Takes place pre-canon. Adora and Catra are in whatever the Horde’s equivalent of kindergarten or first grade is (age 5-7).

It was midday in the cafeteria. Adora was finishing the gray ration bar that counted for lunch for her and the rest of the Horde orphans. There were about thirty other children in various stages of finishing their food, and the air was full of chatter. For some reason, she didn’t have much of an appetite, and her friends Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio had finished first. 

“Hey, are you done yet?” said Lonnie impatiently. “We wanna go play Bot, Shield, Laser with everybody over there,” she said, gesturing towards a table of rowdy-looking young boys across the room.

“You guys go ahead, I’m not done,” Adora said.

“Okay! See you later!” Lonnie skipped over to the other table, Kyle and Rogelio in tow. 

Adora watched them go, then turned her attention back to what was left of her meal. She pushed the food around her plate with her fork for a moment until a shadow fell over her. She gasped involuntarily when she saw Shadow Weaver looming above. 

“Adora,” Shadow Weaver said in that sickly sweet tone she used whenever she wanted Adora to do something. “Will you walk with me?” she asked, as if Adora had a choice.

Adora looked at her plate, then up at Shadow Weaver. “But my food—” 

“You’ve finished, haven’t you?” She didn’t wait for a response. “I’ll ask one of the other children to—you there!” she said, pointing at Kyle from the far side of the cafeteria. “Come here.”

Kyle, looking fearful, made his way over to Adora’s table. “Y-yes, Shadow Weaver?” He looked like he was about to cry.

“Clear Adora’s food for her.” Kyle hesitated. _“Now,_ if you please. Adora doesn’t have time to wait.”

Adora stood up. “Shadow Weaver, it’s okay, I can—”

_"Adora._ he will do as he is asked.” Kyle’s bottom lip trembled, but he grabbed the plate and practically sprinted away, coming close to dropping it as he went. Adora felt guilt pool in the pit of her stomach. 

Before she could stop herself (because even at that age, she knew better), Adora said “I think that hurt his feelings.”

“If he is to be a useful soldier someday, it will have to take more than that,” Shadow Weaver said dismissively. “Now, walk with me,” she said, extending her hand. Adora reluctantly took it and walked out of the cafeteria with Shadow Weaver. 

***  
Catra was terrified. Like she always did when she was scared, she had lashed out at the angry dark lady when she locked her in the barracks. But she was more afraid than angry, particularly when the lady said icily, “You will behave, or you will suffer the consequences.” In Catra’s experience, “consequences” were never good. 

She was told that she was being “reassigned” for her “unruly behavior,” which meant “repeatedly biting and scratching other children.” Catra wasn’t sorry, and that got her in more trouble. But she had no idea how much trouble she would end up in because of it. “Now she’s yours,” her commanding officer had said to the dark lady, pushing Catra towards her. “Good luck.”

Right now, she was hiding under one of the beds with a big blue blanket wrapped around her scrawny form. She was crying because she was scared; because she was mad—and she was mad at herself for crying at all. It was a mess. Catra was a mess. That’s what she’d always been told. That’s how she’d always been treated. And it didn’t show signs of stopping here. 

The creaking of a door opening shook Catra out of her dark thoughts. She saw the hem of the dark lady’s robe (did she even have feet? She seemed to glide everywhere) and the feet of a small child, probably her age.

“Catra?” The dark lady called out. “Come out.” A beat. _“Now._

Catra wanted to say no, but her curiosity about the other child won over. Carefully, she crawled out and stood up, blanket still around her shoulders.

Standing before her was the prettiest girl she had ever seen. Unlike Catra’s, her red and white uniform shirt was clean and without tears, and also unlike Catra, she wore clean sneakers. She had big gray eyes (Catra didn’t know eyes came in that color) and blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. Catra wanted to touch the other girl’s hair to see how soft it was. The girl looked scared, too. 

“Adora,” the dark lady said, “This is Catra,” she said, almost spitting the name. “She has had some…trouble getting along with the other children, so I wanted you to spend time with her, maybe be a good influence on her.”

Catra didn’t know what a “good influence” was, but if it meant she got to be with the other girl, she was all for it. The blonde girl—Adora—looked at Catra with interest. 

“Now, girls,” the dark lady said, “Assembly starts in twenty minutes, so don’t be late.” There was a definite implied _or else._

“Yes, Shadow Weaver,” Adora replied obediently. 

Shadow Weaver, the dark lady, patted Adora on the head, but shot Catra a glare on her way out. Somehow you could tell she was glaring even through the mask. The door closed with a bang that made both girls jump. 

Then, silence, broken moments later by Adora. “Hi.” 

Catra pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She looked at the ground. “Hi.”

“Don’t worry about Shadow Weaver. She can be mean, but if you act nice around her, she’s not so bad,” Adora said.

Catra still looked at the floor. “I’m not very good at acting nice.” 

“Sure you are,” Adora said, moving towards Catra. Catra took a step back instinctively. Adora paused. “You’re not acting mean right now, at least.”

“I don’t want to be mean to you,” Catra said, finally looking Adora in the eye. It felt like a confession.

Adora smiled, and Catra saw she was missing a tooth. A wave of fondness washed over her.

“Okay! Then we’ll be nice to each other. Okay?” Adora stuck her hand out.

Catra took her hand. “Okay.” For the first time in days, Catra smiled. She couldn’t believe her luck. She thought she would be viciously punished like she had all those other times she’d “stepped out of line.” And she was still worried about Shadow Weaver. But here she was with the prettiest girl in the Fright Zone, and she just said she wanted to be nice to Catra. What had begun terribly was quickly turning into the best day ever. 

Catra dropped the blanket to the floor. “Hey! Do you wanna go play?” she asked.

“But don’t we have Assembly?” Adora asked nervously. 

“We’ll be fine, we won’t be gone for a long time. I just wanna race you.” 

“Oh yeah? Where?” There was a light in Adora’s eyes. Hope bubbled in Catra’s chest. None of the other kids ever wanted to race. Mostly because she cheated. But regardless, Catra hadn’t had a playmate in a long time, and she was desperate for companionship. 

“How ‘bout…here to the cafeteria?” 

Adora nodded. “Okay, ready? Three, two—hey!” 

Before she could count down, Catra had dashed out the door.

“Last one there’s a rotten ration bar!” she giggled as she sprinted down the corridor.

She didn’t expect Adora to keep up, but she did. However, Catra’s head start brought her to the agreed-upon finish line first. Adora jogged up behind her, out of breath. Catra was startled to see that she was _smiling._ None of the other kids smiled when she beat them. 

“I’ll get you next time!” Adora said happily. 

Catra’s eyes widened. “Next time?”

“Yeah!” Adora grinned. “What, you don’t want to race again?” She looked confused.

“No! I do!” Catra said quickly. “It’s just…most people don’t want to go again.” 

“Well, I do. But I’m tired right now, so, later. And we have to go to Assembly.” Catra nodded. 

They walked down the corridor together toward the assembly yard. 

“Hey, Catra?” Adora said.

Catra looked at her hesitantly. “Yeah?”

“Will you be my friend?”

Warmth flooded Catra. She had never been asked to be anyone’s friend before. This really was the best day ever. 

“Yeah! I wanna be friends.”

Adora took her hand. “Good. We’re friends now.”

“Okay,” Catra said, looking down at her hand clasped in Adora’s. They only let each other go when they reached the assembly yard. They sought each other out again soon after, as they would for many years to come.


	7. I'll Never Leave You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> …'Cause your pain is my pain  
> We'll go out of this just the same  
> We're better when our paths combine
> 
> I nearly drove past the sign
> 
> I'll never leave you  
> I'll never be like that  
> I'll never be the one I was in life
> 
> -I’ll Never Leave You by Rogue Wave
> 
> Takes place soon after the end of Season 5.

Adora was an early riser, conditioned from her years in the Horde. However, the life of a cadet didn’t make as much of an impression on Catra, who was difficult to rouse and get out of bed. 

When Adora awoke, she was prepared to cajole and bribe Catra with kisses when she turned over and saw that Catra was already awake, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey,” she said, and touched Catra on the shoulder. Much to Adora’s surprise, Catra jumped away and hissed as if Adora had just doused her in cold water.

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay,” Adora said softly. Catra’s ears were flat against her head and her tail lashed back and forth. “Did I do something wrong?” Adora asked, concerned. She hadn’t seen Catra jump like that in years, not since they were under Shadow Weaver’s authority.

Catra turned her back on Adora and pulled the covers over her head. “No. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. Tell me what’s going on? Why are you awake so early?”

“I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep, okay? Is that allowed?” Catra snapped.

 _“Catra.”_ Adora pulled the covers back roughly. “Cut it out and talk to me.”

Catra grumbled and put her pillow over her face. Adora sighed. “Please?”

“You won’t leave me alone until I do, will you,” Catra said, coming out from under the pillow.

“Nope!” Adora said brightly. “Now come on. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Mmmmrgh,” Catra growled. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Okay. This is hard. But, um. I’m scared. And I know I shouldn’t be, but…I think part of me will always be scared that…you’ll leave again, and…” Catra trailed off.

“I don’t regret it,” Adora said quietly. “Leaving the Horde. I had to do it.”

Catra looked away. “I know, I know, you had to save the day and all that. Had to be the big hero,” she said bitterly. 

“Let me finish,” Adora said. After a breath, she continued. “I don’t regret leaving the Horde, but I regret leaving you. It hurt so much…I still wish you had come with me.”

“I couldn’t have,” Catra said, looking up at Adora. “You making friends with Bow and Glimmer in the space of, what, a few hours? That made me feel like you already replaced me. Like you didn’t need me. Like maybe you never did. And you transforming into She-Ra, you turning out to be the most powerful princess of them all? It was too much to take.” 

Adora took Catra by the hand and squeezed it. “I did need you. I do need you. I always have.” 

Catra took a deep, shuddering breath and said almost inaudibly. “Don’t, then.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t leave me again.” Catra wiped away unbidden tears roughly with the heel of her hand. 

“I won’t,” Adora said softly, putting her forehead against Catra’s. “I won’t ever leave you.”

“Promise?” Catra’s voice cracked.

Adora kissed her on the forehead. “Promise.”


	8. Hey, I'm Just Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we get so tired of pretending like you're so strong  
> Everyone you love has gone and decided that you're so wrong
> 
> I always feel invincible when you're around  
> You and me against the millions  
> Together in the light, I swear all for you  
> Tonight in the dark, we're seeing colors
> 
> Hey, I'm just like you  
> A little messed up and new  
> Hey, I'm just like you  
> Not sure what the fuck I'm to do  
> We're headstrong tonight (tonight, tonight)  
> Racing through the streets till we fly  
> Gold-colored prisms alive (the light, the light)  
> Headstrong tonight
> 
> -Hey, I’m Just Like You by Tegan and Sara
> 
> Pre-canon. Adora and Catra are around age 13.

“Catra, _wait!”_ Adora called out. 

“Leave me alone!” Catra snarled. She barreled down the concrete hallway. Her instincts were screaming at her to go _up, up, out, out, away._ Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and her face felt hot with shame. 

Catra didn’t even really know why she felt bad. She always told herself that she didn’t mind taking second or third place in sparring, always making some quip to set Adora at ease when she seemed concerned for her. 

This time it had hurt, though, when Lonnie laughed in Catra’s face at her embarrassing loss due to tripping over her own tail. 

“Nice one, Catra,” Lonnie smirked. “I guess cats don’t always land on their—”

Before she could finish, Catra sprang up and tackled her, hissing and giving her a scratch on her face before launching herself off of her body and sprinting out the door, followed closely by Adora. 

Catra made a sharp turn and dashed down another corridor that she knew would take her outside to the scrap yard. While she wanted to get away, she realized belatedly that she was going somewhere where Adora could find her.

_Adora._ Why couldn’t she mind her own business? Why did she always have to try to fix everything? 

Catra shoved the door to the outside open, and with a dash here, a jump there and climbing this wall and that, she came to one of her favorite thinking (or really, sulking) spots. She crouched near the edge, hugging her knees to her chest. She wiped her dripping nose on her uniform. 

Suddenly, she was overcome with sadness and regret. She wished she hadn’t yelled at Adora or ran away from her. Catra felt deeply lonely. Her vision began to blur with tears again. 

“Catra?” She turned around, ears flattening and tail puffed. It was Adora, _of course,_ pulling herself onto the platform and scooting over to sit next to her. Catra frowned. She didn’t lash out, but she moved away slightly. 

“What do you want?” Catra said, stubbornly staring straight ahead. 

“I wanted to see if you were okay. Are…you okay?” 

_“Yes,”_ Catra snapped. But all at once, the desire to reach out overcame her natural instinct to run away and lash out. “…No,” she said in a small voice. 

Catra buried her face into other girl’s shoulder and her tears began anew. 

“I just feel so _stupid,_ Catra choked out. “I bet I looked really dumb when I fell.”

“You didn’t look dumb,” Adora said kindly, petting Catra’s hair. 

“Even Kyle didn’t fall on his ass this time,” Catra said bitterly. 

“Remember when he did last week, though?” Adora asked. 

“How could I forget? He looked so stupid tripping over his own shoelace like that,” Catra giggled.

The girls laughed together, sharing the memory. After a few moments, Catra felt the heaviness of her emotions lifting. Somehow, Adora always managed to do that for her; to lift her up when she felt lowest. 

When their laughter subsided, Adora sighed happily. “What do you wanna do now? We have like, half an hour before dinner.”

“Gray kind or brown kind?” Catra asked.

“Umm…I think brown,” Adora said sadly,

“Aw, man.” Catra sighed. They hadn’t had the gray ration bars in weeks. 

“I know what’ll cheer you up,” Adora said suddenly. 

Catra’s ears perked up. “What’s that?”

“A _race,”_ Adora said conspiratorially.

Catra rolled her eyes. “Adora, we’re not little _kids_ anymore,” she said. 

“Oh, okay, I see how it is,” Adora said. “You just think you can’t beat me.”

_“No,_ I just think it would be embarrassing for you when you lose—which you definitely _will,”_ Catra replied. 

Adora pulled herself up and stood at the edge, grinning triumphantly. “So, you said you _will_ race me then? Well, better get going! See you at the barracks!” 

With that Adora dashed off. Catra groaned, but she was smiling so hard her face hurt. This is what Adora did for her, this sort of emotional alchemy. She leaped down from her high spot and sprinted after Adora. 

Like Adora had said to her many years ago, it didn’t matter what anyone else did to them as long as they had each other. For Catra, it was the two of them against the world, and she would never want it to be any different.


	9. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I want to get is a little bit closer  
> All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?  
> Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer
> 
> Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer  
> The doors are open, the wind is really blowing  
> The night sky is changing overhead
> 
> It's not just all physical  
> I'm the type who won't get oh so critical  
> So let's make things physical  
> I won't treat you like you're oh so typical
> 
> -Closer by Tegan and Sara
> 
> Pre-canon, age 16. A month or so after Chapter 2. Bumped up the rating to T for this one. (Catra's a bottom, fight me).

Something strange was happening to Catra, and she wasn’t sure if she liked it.

She and Adora had grown up together in the Horde, and she was the person in Catra’s life that she was closest to. So why did things feel so off with her all of a sudden?

It had started one day after training. Catra was in the locker room waiting for Adora to return from the showers as usual (Catra avoided showering when she could help it, especially since she didn’t need to bathe nearly as often as humans did). She began to get impatient as the minutes ticked by. Wasn’t Adora usually done by now? Catra leaned on one of the lockers and tapped her foot against the floor restlessly.

“Hey, Catra!” Adora came into the locker room, still in a towel. She opened her locker and grabbed her clothes and what seemed like deodorant. “I’ll just be a minute, I—”

And then Catra’s mind went blank, unable to process the stimuli before it, which consisted of Adora, naked, then scrambling to cover herself with the towel that had slipped out of her grasp.

“Whoops! Okay, I’ll be back in a second,” she said, with a casual ease that could not be further from Catra’s state of mind.

“O-okay,” Catra stammered. _What was wrong with her?_ She’d seen Adora’s body before. They had been raised together and trained together, after all. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before. Catra supposed the difference must have been the suddenness with which she had been confronted with it.

But even if that was the case, Adora’s body shouldn’t make her feel anything, least of all completely undone the way she was now. _Get it together,_ she told herself. _It’s just Adora, there’s nothing to feel weird about._ She then resolved not to think about it anymore.

Just as she made that agreement with herself, Adora emerged from the shower area, dressed this time, thank goodness.

“Okay, all done! Let’s get going,” she said brightly. Her hair was down (she would tie it up in her signature ponytail when it was dry), which, again, was something Catra was used to seeing. But something about how it framed her face, along with the flush that still lingered from the hot water, did something to Catra.

Catra cleared her throat. “Yeah, let’s go,” she replied, then followed Adora out.

 _This might be a problem,_ a nagging voice at the back of her mind whispered.

She had no idea how right that voice was.

***

  
That night, Catra found herself at the foot of Adora’s bunk, as usual. But suddenly reality shifted, and Catra was _under Adora,_ who straddled her hips and looked down on her with an expression of desire Catra had never seen before.

“What are you—” Catra began, but was cut off by a kiss—a _real_ one that took no prisoners.

“Be good for me,” Adora whispered. Catra nodded. She was thoroughly overwhelmed.

Her perception shifted again and Adora had moved to kissing her neck with fervor—

And then Catra woke up in a cold sweat. She glanced over and Adora was still sleeping soundly. _Only a dream,_ she told herself, more than a little disappointed.

She watched the other girl breathe slowly, her blonde hair spread out over the pillow. She was beautiful, Catra realized—or realized that she had always known it. It was so obvious now: she was in love with Adora. It made sense: she had always been so possessive and so needy for Adora’s attention. She had lived and breathed her love for Adora since they met, and it was so deeply part of Catra’s life with her that she hadn’t recognized it until this moment.

But what could be done about it? _Nothing, probably,_ Catra realized with despair. Even if Adora felt the same, what chance was there that they could be together— _really_ together? Romance was frowned upon in the Horde, and she shuddered to think of how Shadow Weaver would react if she found out she and Adora had that sort of connection.

No, there was nothing Catra could do, she concluded. She looked back at Adora and felt the urge to stroke her hair, to kiss her face; forbidden impulses that must be repressed.

Catra settled back into her place on the bunk and nestled as close to Adora’s legs as she would allow herself and tried to sleep. But there would be no rest for her that night as she wondered how she would spend the rest of her life wanting Adora and never having her; of cherishing any scrap of affection Adora would give, of hungrily savoring every casual touch.

The desire permeated every part of her being. It was almost too much to bear. But she had to bear it, and she would, as long as Adora was part of her life. She hoped it would be forever.


	10. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, home, let me come home  
> Home is wherever I'm with you  
> Ah, home, let me come home  
> Home is where I'm alone with you
> 
> -Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
> 
> Post-Season 5.

“…And here’s my room. Or, uh, our room? If you want?” Adora asked hesitantly. This was the final stop on Adora’s tour of the Bright Moon palace, and she was clearly anxious about it.

Catra crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Are you seriously asking me if I want to share a room with you after our first kiss literally saved the universe?” She gave Adora a quick peck on the cheek. _“Of course_ it’ll be our room, dummy.” 

“Right, yeah…” Adora said sheepishly. “Anyway, let me show you,” she said, opening the door.

Catra knew the room wouldn’t be the same as the Fright Zone barracks or her Force Captain quarters in the Horde, but she wasn’t prepared for how alien it was, with all the cushions and curtain and crystals in bright, pleasant hues. 

“This is…different…” Catra said carefully. She looked around and spotted what looked like a small waterfall in the corner. “What’s that for?”

“Oh, yeah,” Adora said. “I still don’t really get that. When I asked if it was for showering, Glimmer laughed at me for like, five minutes.” 

Catra wandered around the room, peering cautiously at this decoration and that piece of furniture and taking it all in. “So, this is what it’s like to live like a princess, eh?” 

Adora laughed nervously. “I guess so.”

Catra made her way to Adora’s bed and sat down on it. “Well, this feels normal at least,” she said. 

“Yeah,” Adora said. The first bed in here was like, _huge_ and poofy, and when I tried to flatten it, it _exploded._

Catra laughed. “What did you do?”

“I sneaked into Glimmer’s room and slept in her bed. And freaked her out when she woke up the next morning. She fell out of bed and had to teleport to keep from crashing onto the floor.”

The girls laughed together, and Adora finally seemed to be loosening up. After a moment, she turned to face Catra. “Are you really going to be okay here? I know it’s different from the Horde—”

“That’s a good thing. I don’t exactly have a lot of cozy, fond memories from there,” Catra said.

Adora frowned. “Well, we have some good memories, right?” 

“Of course,” Catra said, and kissed Adora’s forehead. “Every single time I was happy there, it was because of you.”

Adora smiled in that way that never failed to fill Catra with warmth. 

“Look,” Catra said. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Really?” Adora asked quietly. 

“Really. It doesn’t really matter to me where we live, as long as it’s a _we._ I just want to be with you. No matter where we are, as long as we’re together, I’ll be at home.”

Adora looked up at Catra, tears in her eyes. She suddenly took her in a tight embrace, almost knocking the wind out of her. 

_“I love you._ I love you, Catra.” 

“I love you, too,” Catra purred. “I always will.”

At one time, Catra thought all she wanted was power. She wanted to be recognized for her worth to the Horde, and she wanted to never be under anyone’s thumb again. That Catra was gone now, shed like a skin that had become too tight for her to live in anymore. This Catra wanted love and finally, _finally_ learned how to ask for it and to give it in return. 

And she received it tenfold with Adora. She nuzzled the other girl’s head. _With_ Adora. That is how it always would be, from now on. After long last, Catra had come home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This will (I hope) be a series of ten chapters inspired by ten songs that remind me of Catra and Adora's relationship. Chapters will likely be pretty short, and I don't want to promise anything but since I'm done for the semester I should have lots of time to update. Enjoy!


End file.
